we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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