I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
