also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
