would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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