Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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