Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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