so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize