1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
NoShamevember. You game?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
