i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
