May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
