We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
