just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
