I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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