I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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