Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
cat food counts as protein by the way
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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