Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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