she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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