Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
