we're blogging at a bar
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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