They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
