I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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