If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize