reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
