i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
