"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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