She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize