glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
