When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
