Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
