even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
