just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
