His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
