it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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