We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think I have vodka in my lungs
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
