I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just had sex on a roof
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize