did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
