Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you traded sex for a burrito?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize