I could make wine with my vomit
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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