I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize