I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
