Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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