help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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