You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's shark week go big or go home
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize