Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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