Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
