ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
