remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
