I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
