I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
This is my gift to your gina
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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