I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
