I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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