we have officially mastered the walk of shame
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I had to cum in my sink.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
