Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he was CRYING into my vagina
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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