dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
They should really pass out barf bags in church
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
