Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
