Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
