Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he thought i was a dude.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He shit in the fireplace
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
