Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
