Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize