I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
