Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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