I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
