kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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