I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
