I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
