To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
