dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
