im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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