I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Two words: blizzard sex
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
