I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
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