So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
