Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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