i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
