my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
