ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
