can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize
