White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
