What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
